The best part of going...was leaving

Yesterday I traveled 5 hours with my 3 daughters to my hometown in Louisiana. My husband's grandfather is turning 80, so the family threw a big bash in his honor.

Recently, I was told (in a highly passive-aggressive way) that I was "unattractive" for talking so badly about Louisiana, and that this person thought that I felt I was better than everyone else solely because I moved away from the state. I don't talk bad about the whole state, I just call it how I see it. I'm blunt, and I'm honest. Now, I grew up in this town, lived there for 19 years before I married my husband and moved out of state. While I lived there, I knew nothing else. This was "home" and I had friends, family, and good times. Once I left, however, I learned that there is so much more outside of "A-Town", and that many people seem to have become stuck in a life and a town that is going nowhere. The town is dead. It reeks of despair, drugs, and dirtyness.

Actual house in downtown A-town.

There are obvious drug and prostitution deals going down on many street corners and even the "nicer" neighborhoods are either going downhill or are so far out on the city limits that you can't even say you live there.

As soon as we crossed into the city limits, my 3 children started whining and griping...I was thinking, "yeah, I know the feeling"....this is not the town I remember growing up in. It's depressing to look at. The friends I grew up with either have lives elsewhere or make no attempt at keeping in contact. The family I have there is sparse now, mainly because certain family members want nothing to do with me anymore...likely because of my blunt opinions. I've been told that I'm no longer their "child/sister/etc." because I chose to move away.

In the end, I stayed one night, then drove back home to my pleasant city just north of Dallas. The party for PawPaw rocked, I enjoyed seeing my husband's side of the family, but when it comes down to it....

The best part of going was leaving.

Have you ever...

...stepped in smashed banana?

...looked at your children and wondered why in the world you wanted kids?

...gone out in public wearing sweats with unidentifiable stains?

...looked at a friend/stranger with complete jealousy because they are "put together"?

...scoffed at a compliment because you honestly feel you're not good enough?



It's normal. We've all done it at some point, some more than others. I'll be completely honest and say that I look around at my life sometimes and wish that it would just stop spinning so fast. It's a whirlwind of "I need this" and "I don't like that" and "STOP SCREAMING!!!" Oh, yeah, and the kids whine a lot too....




All my life I've let the nay-sayers get the best of me, and it wasn't until the last few years that I've started to pick myself up, put on my big girl panties, and push forward. You can't change your past, you can't change anyone that is or has ever been a part of your life. You can only change yourself. You have to surround yourself with people who are going to be a positive influence, or you're only setting yourself up for struggle and failure.

I've had a lot of friends come and go in my lifetime. As an adult, it's difficult to find friends that make you feel realy good about yourself, and who aren't completely insane. Over the last year, I have befriended some really awesome women. They come from many different backgrounds, are from different groups, and all have a different take on life. Recently, one of these women was at our home. She payed me a compliment and I immediately and habitually basically told her she was wrong because I have "this, this and this" wrong about me. After a pep talk, she gave me this advice:

"Smile, say 'thank you', and drink your coffee with a tiara on".



Wow. That little talk has been stuck in my head for weeks now, and find myself doing just that. While I don't drink my coffee with a tiara on everyday, the advice still sticks, and it makes me focus on things that are positive rather than negative.

So whenever I...

...step in smashed banana...I consider it a moisturizing pedicure mask

...looked at my children and wondered why in the world I wanted kids...I remind myself of the wonders of watching my children grow and learn to love others

...go out in public wearing sweats with unidentifiable stains...I am reminded that looks mean nothing, but a smile can make someone's day

...look at a friend/stranger with complete jealousy because they are "put together"...I remind myself that even the most beautiful, confident person needs a good friend

...scoff at a compliment because I honestly feel I'm not good enough...I smile, say "thank you" and drink my coffee with a tiara on